{grief}

Grief is a dance that I've never danced before. My closest relative (my Aunt Kimberly) passed when I was 4 years old. I don't remember much about it, but I think that's because my parents did a lot of sheltering of me at that time since I was so young.

I've got all sorts of different emotions brewing inside that it's hard to express them. I've yet to break down over my Grandpa's passing, but I know it'll happen soon. Tomorrow is my Grandpa's Memorial Service. My eyes welled up with tears when I read his obituary because it made it seem a tad more real. I know it's probably going to hit me like a ton of bricks tomorrow while sitting in that church.

I know he lived a wonderful life. I know he was content, but it's just really hard facing the fact that he's not going to be there the next time I go out to visit. I just have to keep reminding myself that he's in a better place and is free of pain and suffering. A part of me is angry because Addison's not going to remember him. She's not going to know the way his face lit up when he smiled. How how much he loved his God. How much he loved his milkshakes. None of it. And I think that's the hardest part. She's going to have to settle for the stories that we tell. And thankfully there are lots of them.

___________________

Kenneth Yeager Hower
1929 - 2010
July 25, 1929 to March 19, 2010 Kenneth Y. Hower born July 25, 1929 to Clem Hower and Arlene Yeager Hower in Roaring Creek, Pennsylvania passed away Friday March 19, 2010 at 12:05 p.m. after complications brought on by Pneumonia. Kenneth had courageously battled many obstacles with his health over the past 5 years since overcoming cancer of the throat in 2005. At age 17, he enlisted in The United States Navy as UT in the Seabees, and rose to rank of Chief Petty Officer. He was well respected and retired on his birthday, July 25, 1968 after having served his country for 20 years. He then went to work for the City of Oxnard in the Facility Maintenance Department that same year and retired on July 25, 1989 after 20 years of service. Kenneth betrothed Beatrice June Dirck on May 9, 1953 and they were married 56 years. Kenneth and Beatrice had two sons, Kenneth and Bruce. Kenneth spent his retirement years traveling the country with wife in their motor home, seeing all the wonderful things this beautiful country had to offer and all the things he had read about as a child growing up. Those that knew Kenneth know him as a wonderful person, always quick with a joke, and a willing helpful hand when in need. We will all surely miss him. His wife Beatrice June Hower, their two sons and their spouses, Kenneth and Robin Hower, Bruce and Gail Hower survive Kenneth. Kenneth had four grandchildren, Katrina, Kenneth Nicolas, Ronne, and Brandon Hower. He also had two great grandchildren Addison Whitnall and Kegan Hower. Kenneth was an active member in good standing with Masonic Lodge #341 as well as a member of the Scottish Rites Valley of Ventura 32nd degree, KCCH, and the High Twelve. He was also a long time member of the Elks, Foresters, Fleet Reserve, and a devout member of the Grace Bible Church in Oxnard. He was preceded in death by his father Clem and mother Arlene. There will be a Memorial Service held for Kenneth on Saturday March 27, 2010 at 2 p.m. at the Grace Bible Church 936 W. 5th Street Oxnard, Ca. The family would like to request no flowers be sent and that any memorial donations be made in Kenneth's name to: The American Cancer Society or The American Heart Association.